Happy New Year..

So I hate to say this and sound like the boring old misery guts that I am , but I have never liked and still struggle to like New Years Eve. (you can stop reading now or shut down your laptop in disgust, I don't mind)

I think its a very telling time, of who you are as a person. Whether you are looking happily into the future (optimistic) or thinking about the time and year just gone (more pessimistic) or i could just be over analysing it to much.

But I remember someone telling me a few years ago, that it is the biggest time of the year for suicides. Now I don't know if it ever was, or still is true, but I can totally see why this seems true. The advertising world would have you believe everyone is having the best time in the world,
parties, celebration and such jolliness is being had everywhere, by everyone and you are the only one not included in this.

I remember reading a book by Nick Hornby called 'Long way down' whose central characters all met on a roof top on New Years Eve and were all going to jump off the roof. The book chronicles the hurts and pains they are wanting to get rid off by that final solemn act. (It does sound depressing, but it was brilliant, I think Johnny Depp brought the rights to be made into film, but I never heard anything since).

I think I look back and think 'I could of done more' whether that be 'prayed' 'danced' 'freely gave'. And feel down for all the people who are looking into the dark bleak future and think 'I now have to do this alone' I feel for them and then it gets rubbed in their face by the Asda advert on telly...

What I am trying to say is, this time of year can really cut people up, but they feel, they need to shut up vocalising their pain for fear of spoiling the waitrose advert style party people try to create. Which in the end adds to the awful statistic I mentioned.

So whether you are at a party living it up (and I am not knocking you if you are, you own that dance floor) or whether you are going to sit in front of the telly and watch a movie with the family, or whether you are on your own, alone and scared. A New Year means springs on its way and the small buds of growth will start to begin.

So whatever you are doing. A party for 50 or a party for one, enjoy it and know you are loved by the creator Abba.

Thanks to all who have listened to my insane ramblings over the past months..

Happy new year...

SuperNatural Forgiveness

(Coventry Cathedral ruins)

I keep my ideals, because in spite of everything I still believe that people are really good at heart.
Anne Frank

Today I was at Coventry Cathedral with a friend, and we came across some art that was to do with forgiveness and reconciliation (can't remember the artist or find him on their website). But there was one piece, that represented Auschwitz and it punched me in the stomach , emotionally speaking . In the canvas was Hair, Spectacles, Shoes and other artifacts. We started chatting about that amount of hurt and evil one man and his ideals could inflict on the world and asked ' If we could go back in time and kill Hitler, would we ? for the sake of saving so many Lives.'

Its a question that makes me uncomfortable, but what astounds me, are the stories you hear, of people who were actually there, prisoners in the camps being physically able to go up to their prison wardens who killed their friends and family in cold blood and say truly 'I forgive you' .

This blows my mind. I find it hard to forgive over the small things, so to me this seems mad, that amount of pure grace and love, it seems inhuman , unnatural to me. Then I remember its because it is. Only through Gods peace and love could I even contemplate that amount of love to a person who's hurt me so much. I have to remember that God forgave and forgives me (daily), so I have to do the same to other people.

I remember the prayer that is said in Coventry Cathedral quite a lot, it might be the Peace prayer, and I think of Anne Frank, a young girl who even in such horrific circumstance's saw past the dirt and focused in on the good in people...

'All have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God.

The hatred which divides nation from nation, race from race, class from class,
Father Forgive.

The covetous desires of people and nations to possess what is not their own,

Father Forgive.

The greed which exploits the work of human hands and lays waste the earth,
Father Forgive.

Our envy of the welfare and happiness of others,

Father Forgive.

Our indifference to the plight of the imprisoned, the homeless, the refugee,

Father Forgive.

The lust which dishonours the bodies of men, women and children,

Father Forgive.

The pride which leads us to trust in ourselves and not in God,
Father Forgive.

Be kind to one another, tender-hearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.'

Would you Kill Hitler? Would you Be able to forgive ?

Jud 'n' me. the beginning!

i knew a girl called claire, our friendship started when i knew of this ultra amazing girl but never imagined that someone this good could be real, then... then... i met her. a shy girl sitting opposite me in cafe renroir, i couldnt quite believe my luck when i finally met the girl whom i was named after (thanks tom) my dreams were shattered until ibiza 2010- wow all those times we messed about, chatted and cleaned. the promises of a wonderful friendship were made and then after a quick visit to NI when i made her work like a dog, i was never to hear from her again! sad times ; claire wherever you are....

My friend left this on my facebook page and I love it and wanted to share our story.....

Human Lampstands

I am reading Revelation at the moment and was thinking about this morning :

The light doesn’t come from the lampstands. The light comes from the oil lamps themselves. The stands merely make the light more visible. Therefore, the lampstands are a good picture of the church. We don’t produce the light, we simply display it.

“A lamp is not light in itself, it is only the instrument of dispensing light, and it must receive both oil and fire before it can dispense any; so no Church has in itself either grace or glory, it must receive all from Christ its head, else it can dispense neither light nor life.” (Clarke)

The UK !!