Hug Weaponery..

I got a call out at 1.00am on Friday night, in the middle of watching Glee, Rock and Roll in Ibiza on a Friday night... yeah baby ! Without going into too much Detail, it was pretty rough and harsh. There are times when you find yourself in a situation and you think to yourself ´I have no idea what i am doing or how to handle this, what good can i do? ´ Its in those times when i truely become dependant on God, and my main tool to use then is a hug And just pray that it does some good.

The power of a hug is a big weapon out here, when words just dont matter, but a hug certainly can. It sows love where there is hurt and sorrow. Some would say its not very practicial, i would say its the most needed thing in certain situations. Its medicine and armour all rolled into one.

Hug Grenades , Drop one today! Whoop Whoop!

The Girlz....XX

Live like you mean it!!!

Last night me and christine spent some time sitting on a curb trying to help a lost girl, we ended up chatting to her but she was seriously drunk and scared.. and kept having panic attacks... when she managed to speak through the serious strained gasps of air, she spoke of her troubled family life back home, and just spoke as if the weight of the world was on her shoulders, she was scared and tierd and confusesd, she had somehow lost her friends, (we think they had an argument) and she gave up trying to find them, so she decieded to sit down at the side of the road and gave up trying to get back to her apartment.. to see her so resigned to living a half life was painfull, in the end her mates all turned up, yelled abuse at her for going off. and dragged her off..How can a person live like that, So ready to settle for a 50% life, God doesnt want that for her... or for anyone..

The message bible said life should be 'adventurously expectant' , i pray that and the scripture over her below...

'Christ has set us free to live a free life. So take your stand. Never again let anyone put a Harness of slavery on you.' Galatians 5:1..

Podium Insights....

I never fail to be shocked by people's blatant attitude and emotions towards in your face sex and lust displays.... On Friday night as i was in the circualr dance floor that is in the middle of Es Paradis, with the podium dangaling in the middle, i just got another glimpse of peoples attitude.

Every half hour/hour the dancers change, being here in Ibiza you get used to (not sure its a good thing) to seeing scantily clad women grinding on a small stage for the amusement of the male clientele, but last night something i've never either seen or noticed before happened, the male equivaliant dancer ( like an olied up spanish chipendale) climbed the ladders to get to the podium and thereafter arose a huge cheer from all the ladies on the floor. It was like a cry of yes from the women, quickly follwed by the women's camera being pulled out to take snaps to remeber the moment....

I just dont understand it, to me podium dancers, makes everyone in the clubs feel bad. When the ladies come on, all the women in the place see what the world says a women should be and lets face it, not many of us look like that, even the girls up there are a vision of an extreme made up person...and its the same for men... going by fri nights performance the world values and applaudes would men who are olied up bulky men, which just aint true..

I am so glad that God has given me the freedom from all the rubbish, no more listening to what the world would put on me.. i am so happy that i know who i am from God, not from how skiiny my waist is, believe me, out here that is a big plus, where there's alot of that thinking around...Now just have to announce that freedom to the clubs. wheres that ladder, give me that podium... that would be a dance worth watching ...

My Vocation...

Many people mistake our work for our vocation..

Our Vocation is the Love of Jesus...-Mother Teresa..

Today i am just thanking the Lord, that he has blessed me to be in a place in life where i have been been able to show the love of Christ through helping people in crappy situations and supplying bible's.. Mother Teresa is right, its an act of worship , of love towards God, it shouldnt be a question of if, but when.....

Gods Got the Rope...and keeping it tight...

'A Few minutes ago every tree was excited, bowing to the roaring, storm waving , swirling, tossing their branches in glorious enthusaim like worship. But though to the outer ear theses tree's are now silent , their songs never cease...-John Muir'

Today I did some rock climbing in the more mountain hillside bit of the Island, I was all up for it... and then i saw this thing which was basically a vertical drop and thought' Ummmm , this is gona be tricky'

I am usually one for getting straight in, but i will admit to stumbeling.. The fact that i was wearing converse trainers didnt help ( look fab but no function in the climbing department)...anywayz i figured i would get straight into it and was 2nd to step up... You really have to put your trust in the dude who is holding the rope at the bottom, (this time being Neil W) and focus completely on your positioning and weight...he was a great instructor...

Whilst i was hanging off the side, of the cliff, i did think a about how beautifulll the place was i mean stunning... mad turquiose water and gorgeous valleys... and about Gods creation and about how this summer God has my rope, hes my instructor ..as i climb the things that i need to learn, my issues and stuff, he is totally at the bottom telling me where to place my foot, and watch my direction and keeping me focused... and its just great i get to do it in such a beautifull place...

Here's to many more dayz of me up a cliff, learning to trust...

Soul Revolutions!!!

There was a moment last night when i was sittin in Hogan's one of the local rock Bars in San Antonio. I was there to see my 2 friends begin their new season this summer as the front singers for the inhouse band caled 'BURN'. and i had a real sense that God was among the people in the bar.

Nell one of the singers had just done a cracking rendition of 'youve got the love' (which is a remix of a christian song) I always love it when drunken people give it stacks to that song.. i kind of do a small jig inside and secrectly laugh to myself...haha...

Anyway Nell was starting to get into the song, that i never rember the song or artist of. ... the lyrics go ' So i pray, oh my God do i pray, i pray every single day, for a revolution... and i say hay, hay , hay hay, whats going on!!!!

And i just had a sense of people in there being at war within themselves... i felt God say to me 'ask me for a revolution' one for your soul and i will give it you'

So tonight in the prayer room i will be praying for that big time, lotz of mini soul revolutions on this island.... Its one of the things i love in this place, you find God in all sorts of amazing and unexpected places... Even in Hard core rock Bars... whats that song....

'God gave Rock and Roll to you... Gave rock and roll to you, put it in the soul of everyone....'

Ibiza's Loveliness!!!

Jesse: I heard this story once about when the Germans were occupying Paris and they had to retreat back. They wired Notre Dame to blow, but they had to leave one guy in charge of hitting the switch. And the guy the soldier, he couldnt do it. You know he just sat there, knocked out by how beautifull the place was. And then when the allied troops came in, they found all the explosives just lying there and the switch unturned, and they found the same thing at Scare Couer, Eiffel Tower, couiple of other places i think...

Celine: Is that True?

Jesse: I dont know but i always like the story though..

The above Quote is from, one of my favourite films 'Before Sunset' Staring Ethan Hawke and Julie Deply.

I Love it.... That people can be stirred by such beauty into action or non action in the case above. There was a moment last night when i was sitting in the cathedral ontop of the mound in Ibiza Town, listening to Classical music, having trailed through the medieval fair, feeling full from all the many random food bits i sampled, an amazing array of people and mixture of cultures surrounding me, and my thought was 'God you had to push me to get me here, i've fought you, not every step, lets say, every other step of the way, and yet look at the loveliness you've put before me and the beauty you still show me,

let the beauty in this place move me into a holy engagement with it, let me be moved by Ibiza's character and vibrant personality, to fall in love with it every day, and help me not to cause destruction by not seeing its radiant curves...

I asked God to help me stop, throughout the many times this summer where it gets mental and just appreciate where i live, in the here and now. So my affection for this remarkable place will continue to deepen this summer...

The Venue...of the Girls in Ibiza part 2

here are a few more to keep you up to date!!! the top is the beach at the bottom of our road, then the middle is our room and the bottom is the kitchen living room loking onto the balcony!!

The Venue....Of the Girls!!! In Ibiza ! Part 1

Here's a few photo's of 'the venue' also known as the girls apartment...The top photo,is mine and christines bedroom! next is the view from our balcony... and the bottom one is our kitchen and living/dineing area!!!

15 KG Of Tears and Fear...

For those of you who don't know, i think i might be possibly the worst person to say Goodbye to. Apart from the insane crying and vocal sobbing i just can't seem to do it secretly, it seems that i just cant hide my emotions and its pretty embarassing..

In the last few dayz i have had to say Goodbye to some of my favourite people in all the world... and i have basically been an emotional wreck. From Crying hysterically in Wetherspoons in front of loads of old men, who looked on me with

eyes of concern to shops to airports where i feel its only right you cry there.. i mean show some emotion!!!

I have been wondering why i seem to be more emotional than most..and i seem to be hurting more.. and i think my crying is actually made up of different emotions all coming out in the act of stream of tears rolling down my face and wrecking my nice makeup. I think my tears are 60% 'i am goning to miss you' emotion, 40% ' i am afraid' emotion.

What am i afraid of? well i am glad you asked... fear of flying, ( i am not a good flyer) but more a fear of 'what if i cant do this' ?... What if i fall on my face? Make a silly spectacle of myself or Hate it and want to come straight home? But aren't christian's suppose to be fearless, isn't love suppose to cast out all fear? Am i not as godly as i need to be to do this journey? Am i packing an extra few Kg's of fear and doubt in my suitcases more than i need to and therefore exceeding my quota ?

But i have come to the conclusion that being a christian doesn't mean you don't get scared or have doubts... but that you know God is bigger and you keep giving all the fears to God, Hour by Hour or minute by minute in my case..is whats going to get you through. i know that it is only him working through me, that i will be able to do this summer, and if i think anything else i am surely wrong... Its not the absence of fear but knowing that someone who has conquered fear and all my other issues squeezed into my emotional suitcase, that i carry... Last summer there was a quote in the Ibiza Farm kitchen that said ' God doesn't call the qualified but qualifies the called... which i love.. I am so not qualified.. but its God that does it through me... so i just need to trust in him.

I have a feeling God is Going to open my overweight suitcase and show me the items that i carry that make me overweight, that are not needed on this journey, they are old, or just don't work anymore.. Does it mean i will be able to control myself at Good byes, no way, if you see the crazy woman howling, dragging herself around someones ankles pleading not to go, it very well might be me!... But i am going to try and give the fear/doubt tears to God cause he is going to do something with it, i'm on a journey right.. but its on that journey that you learn what is essential packing and what is not!

Teach Me Lord..

Good friends are such a beautifull gift from GOD! Thankyou!